Monthly Archives: December 2018

Christian Faith, Parenting and Motherhood

Want to build confidence in kids? Try this!

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Resolving to use a confidence-building, guidance-giving system with my kids in the new year

The new year is almost upon us, and many of us are trying to finalize our New Year’s resolutions. For me, I’m resolving to be more intentional in building confidence in my two daughters. I’ll do this through a new system I came up with called “Mom says…” 

Before I share the details of the system — and how you can get in on it too — let me tell you why I’m doing it.

Why I’m Doing What I’m Doing

I recently asked my 8-year-old to get ready for bed. Before she came upstairs, I went into her room to put away laundry and found she had a dry erase board propped on her dresser in front of her mirror. Wondering if she’d notice, I quickly scribed: “Mom loves you, and you’re beautiful!” Underneath it, I put a heart with a smiley face inside it.

Then I left her room and went into my own to get ready for bed. I heard her come upstairs, and just a few moments later, she came into my room with a huge smile on her face and bright eyes. She said, “Thanks, Mom. I saw what you did.” And she wrapped her arms around my waist giving me a great big hug.

I couldn’t believe how much that one simple act had meant to her. Especially from my daughter who rarely shows affection, cuddles or hugs. It must have really been something she was needing to hear!

Inspired by a TED Talk 

This experience immediately made me think back to a TED Talk I heard earlier this year called Promoting Confidence in Teen Girls. It was given by Cheryl Mason, a mom from my local community, who decided one day to write an encouraging note on her teen daughter’s bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker.

Knowing the pressures of once being a young girl and just how many negative messages bombard them, Cheryl chose to write her daughter’s favorite quote as a bit of encouragement to her: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Her daughter didn’t respond in any way — not a word. But, she also didn’t erase it. 

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Mindfulness, Motivation, Personal Goals

3 Reasons a Vision Board is Better Than a Resolution

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Forget Resolutions – Try a Vision Board

I’m not against New Year’s Resolutions; I like the idea of them. They’re about reflecting on your life and intentionally thinking of areas where you can improve, do better, or be better. I love that! But, if you’ve never made a vision board, you may want to try it.

Why is a vision board better? I’ll give you three reasons, (and tell you what happened when I created one in preparation for 2018).

1)    Resolutions don’t always stick

We’ve all been there: resolving with grand plans to live differently, but as soon as we’ve “fallen off the wagon” or “blown it,” the resolution goes by the wayside. If it wasn’t sustainable, or it only lasted a few weeks – or even just a few days – into January, it wasn’t very helpful.

Before December, 2017, I had only created a vision board once. It was at a financial seminar about retirement planning. During the seminar, all the attendees, me included, created our own vision boards illustrating our ideal retirement. We were asked to think about how we’d spend our time, where we’d be, who would be with us, and how much money we’d need to achieve those goals or live that way.

I enjoyed the exercise. It forced all of us to think about what we really wanted, digging deep into our personal desires and dreams. It also forced us to articulate in words or pictures what those dreams looked like, which was helpful. We could then begin working towards them – through additional savings and investments, by making more money, or spending less. Further, we could discuss the articulated goals with our significant others or spouses. This helped to ensure we were on the same page and working towards the same vision for our future.

After doing it once and seeing the value in it, I decided to give it another try to articulate my goals as the new year (2018) approached. 

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Christian Faith, Counseling, Marriage and Relationships

Intentionally Seeking God

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And His Way of Doing Relationships

If ever you’ve wondered whether God moves in your life, know that He does. It may require work on your part and a willingness to pay attention in order to see it, but He absolutely does – especially when you intentionally seek Him.

How do I know? Let me take you back to Sept. 2004, when Dr. Gary Smalley, Christian speaker and author, was scheduled to attend NorthRidge Church in Plymouth, Michigan to conduct a seminar about his book The DNA of Relationships.

It was there that my husband (Tom) and I met for the first time. A meeting we believe to be God ordained.

The setup

Tom had attended NorthRidge for a while – before I started attending – but had quit going to the mega-church because it felt so large and overwhelming. Then one day, while driving in his pickup, a radio advertisement announced a one-day seminar the church was hosting called, The DNA of Relationships. Tom thought, “What the heck, I’ll get two tickets and see if my brother, Jim, wants to go with me.” So, he did.

Meanwhile, I had just recently started attending the church and heard an announcement for the same one-day seminar during the Sunday services. I thought, “That sounds good. I’ll get two tickets and see if my boyfriend, John, wants to go with me.”

As that Saturday, Sept. 11, 2004, approached, Jim had shown no interest in wanting to go with Tom, and John had decided to break up with me after nine months of dating. So, Tom went alone to the seminar, and so did I. Coincidence? We think not. 

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