Category Archives: Work Life and Career

The right mindset equals success

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Working parents of school-aged children: this post is for you.

Stress levels elevated? Sleepless nights? Worried about how you’ll survive this pandemic with all the pressures of work, remote learning, and regular home-life responsibilities? Check, check, and check! Then you might be — like me — a working parent of school-aged children.

This pandemic has not been easy on any of us, and it’s about to grow even more complex.

In the next few weeks, children across the country will be returning to school, but not the way they’ve typically done, and for some, not physically. Many will engage in remote learning – either 100% or greater than 50% if using a blended approach of both remote and in-person learning. While not ideal, and certainly not something any of us wished for, there is something we can do as parents that will set our kids up for success. We can have the right mindset.

While everyone’s situation is unique and different, for our household, it looks like this:

  • My husband is an essential employee who works outside the home
  • I’m working from home full time, and
  • I’m faced with creating a homeschooling environment to support remote learning for my school-aged children (like many of you).

It’s daunting. I’ve spent countless hours playing out different scenarios in my mind trying to figure out how we’ll make it all work. Inevitably, my blood pressure and stress levels would rise or my sleep would suffer before I chose to think about something else.

Then I realized I wasn’t looking at this situation correctly. I needed to shift my mindset.

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Form the Habit of Reflection

Taking time for reflection is a key to learning. In business, Lessons Learned Meetings are held – or in an Agile business environment they’re called Retrospective Meetings – in which a team reflects on what went well, what could have been handled better/differently, and what was learned. In the military, After Action Reviews are used, in which there is reflection on what happened, why it happened, and what could have been handled better/differently. Regardless of the setting and the specific questions, the premise is the same: reflection leads to improvement, learning and growth.

But I don’t want to talk about business or the military, I want to talk about our personal lives. I started thinking, why can’t we adopt the same behaviors in our homes and family situations? And, of course, we can! It’s truly a habit we should form; a practice we should adopt.

Speaker, author and leadership coach John Maxwell is a huge proponent and advocate for this. In fact, he takes time for personal reflection every day! He reflects on how he intentionally added value to others on a daily basis. That’s something to aspire to; I’m not there yet.

I do, however, like the idea of creating a habit in which we periodically, purposefully slow down and reflect. According to John Maxwell, “Reflection is an intentional stoppage, a deliberate habit that must be cultivated.” I completely agree. If we just keep plowing forward without looking back, we will miss important lessons and growth opportunities.

“Reflection is an intentional stoppage, a deliberate habit that must be cultivated.” — John Maxwell

When should we reflect?

There are natural times when reflection is more top of mind; for example, at year end or when creating New Year’s Resolutions. But we can also make time following traumatic events, stressful periods, or times of transition and change in our lives.

I just came through a pretty trying 40-day period (late Sept. to end of Oct.), which is why I recently spent time reflecting. Now that I’m on the other side, I can look back and think about what went well, what I could have handled better or done differently, and what I learned. The transferrable lesson here is that YOU can do the same.

Let me share my experience so you can begin to contemplate how you might apply reflection to your situation.

My experience

In a recent 40-day period:

  • I was informed of organizational restructuring that affected my job.
  • I had a death in the family, losing an aunt I was close with, and
  • I was studying for a professional certification, which required much of my time and attention.

Continue reading Form the Habit of Reflection

Our Beliefs Influence Our Actions

We’ve all seen the board sign that says, “She believed she could, so she did,” right?  It makes a nice wall hanging and adds to our décor, but have you ever really thought about that phrase? It’s both accurate and motivating.

Believed she could Board Sign
‘Believed She Could’ Board Sign

I’m learning, through multiple sources, that our beliefs shape our thoughts and emotions, which ultimately determine our actions and behaviors. This makes what we tell ourselves and what we believe extremely important.

My conclusion, of course, is that we need to be intentional about telling ourselves we’ll be successful and believing that we will be. Or telling ourselves that we’re capable and truly believing that we are.

Our beliefs influence our actions

Belief alone is not enough; the other half of the equation is following through and taking necessary actions. However, since beliefs influence our actions, we must first get our thoughts and beliefs solidified.

Our beliefs shape our thoughts and emotions, which ultimately determine our actions and behaviors. This makes what we tell ourselves and what we believe extremely important.

Far too often, we let limiting beliefs about ourselves hold us back from actually achieving what we want in life. We might believe we aren’t good enough or not worthy. Or perhaps we think it’s going to be too hard or that we’ll never be able to change ourselves or our situations.

It’s the difference between having a Growth Mindset and a Fixed Mindset. Believing you are stuck or that your efforts can’t change your life or your current situation, equates to having a Fixed Mindset. But when we believe that our own efforts can make a difference, and that we can change/improve/grow, we have a Growth Mindset. It comes down to what we believe.

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The Gap Between Real & Ideal

If you close your eyes and picture your ideal self, what do you see? This was a question I asked myself after completing development training that recommended we close the gap between our real and ideal selves.

Naturally, I pondered the question, and here’s what I took away. Whatever you see in your mind’s eye as your ideal, you can start working to achieve. As you do, you’ll begin closing the gap between who you are today — your real self — and who you want to be tomorrow — your ideal self.

What do you see? 

So how about you? What do you see? Are you 20 lbs lighter? Are you more patient and loving with others? Do you see yourself further along in your career — either at a higher level or making more money? Are you married — happily? Do you see yourself enjoying financial freedom? 

Maybe you’ve already come a long way towards a more ideal state. Praise yourself if you have! Hopefully all of us are striving each day to do better and be better. But there’s a lot that can steal our attention and distract us. That’s why you have to be intentional about it. 

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Creating Space Can Save Relationships & Your Sanity

With the end of the school year fast-approaching and daily routines  changing, you might think I’m talking about creating space in your schedule. The idea of becoming less busy so you have time to focus on the things that really matter; you know, creating “white space” or “margins” as some have coined it. While I think that’s good and valuable, that actually isn’t what this post is about. Rather, the “space” I’m talking about creating is more of a pause – and one that truly can save your relationships and your sanity.

I’ve been learning and reading about this space, or pause, from several sources lately. If you’re a loyal reader, you know I have a passion for sharing what I’ve learned with others in an effort to help them create the lives they want and live more intentionally. So, let me explain what I’ve been learning about “space” in terms of a pause that truly can improve your mental state and your relationships.

Emotional Intelligence – Intercepting thoughts & emotions

Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Emotional Intelligence 2.0

I recently read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. I also completed training and a self-assessment on the topic to determine my aptitude, or EQ (emotional quotient); similar to how we all have an IQ (intelligence quotient).

The book and the training were both fabulous and helpful. I highly recommend them. What stuck with me the most was how the Emotional Intelligence gurus explained a natural chain of events that occurs often for all of us. It looks like this:

Event/Trigger >> Thoughts/Emotions >> Reaction/Response

When an event or trigger occurs, you’ll experience thoughts and emotions, which will then cause a reaction or response from you. This chain of events sometimes leaves us feeling powerless and controlled by our thoughts and emotions.

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Why You MUST Expand Your Horizons

The Future Requires It

Do you think your 4-year degree was enough education? Do you think having a Masters or Doctorate under your belt means your education is complete? Think again! Heather McGowan and other forward thinkers are telling us differently. In addition, there are macro trends making it absolutely imperative that we expand our horizons to continue learning and become innovative.

Let me back up and explain

Have you noticed how Artificial Intelligence (AI) and machine learning is already impacting your life? Both are hot topics in the organization where I work (and likely yours, too) as leaders try to determine how AI and machine learning will transform the workplace and the workforce. But it’s not just something that’s coming; some aspects of AI and machine learning are already here and impacting our world more than we may realize.

For example, you’re probably familiar with the fact that Facebook, Instagram and other social media/online platforms gather data about you and your interests — basically learning you — based upon what you click. Then through complex algorithms, they show you more of what you seem to like and want.

social media icons
social media icons

How great is that personalization? We love it, right? In fact, that’s probably why we’re so addicted to our phones. Not only can we find just about anything we want, but we hardly have to work for it. Searches aren’t even really necessary because once you’ve clicked on something, more, similar content will be pushed right to you.

Want an example?

When I was interested in starting a blog, I saw one ad in my Facebook feed for an online blogging course. I clicked to read more about it, and the next few days my newsfeed was inundated with entrepreneurs who had hit it big through blogging, or writing, who now wanted to offer me their online courses as well. It was practically unavoidable!

The more links I clicked, the more content was tailored and pushed right to me. Pretty soon, I found other people, like me, who were in the process of starting a blog or who had gone before and now had lessons learned they were willing to share with newbies.

This is nice, right? I had all the info I could ever want about starting a blog right at my fingertips, and I had like-minded people with similar goals to guide me along the way. It was super helpful, and it took some of the leg work and guess work out of the equation. Who would complain about that?

I’m not complaining per se, but I do want to draw attention to one potential problem: As I became more micro-focused on only the things that interested me, I was losing sight of the macro world around me.

I do want to draw attention to one potential problem: As I became more micro-focused on only the things that interested me, I was losing sight of the macro world around me.

Continue reading Why You MUST Expand Your Horizons

Do What Scares You – Here’s How

Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I saw this quote: “Do what scares you.” I stopped to reflect on the advice. It resonated with me because I’m on the verge of doing something new, something exciting, yet something a little scary for me.

Let’s face it, any unknowns in our lives can be scary. Fear of the unknown is a very real thing. I’m sure you experience it from time to time, too. Yet, to live an intentional life in which we make things happen for ourselves, and we create opportunities, we mustn’t let fear hold us back.

To be clear, I’m not talking about skydiving, mountain climbing, or hang gliding — unless you feel passionately you need to do those things. I’m talking more about applying for that new job, starting your own business, calling that specific someone for a date, taking on a stretch assignment at work, or having difficult conversations with your children, spouse, or coworkers. Basically, those things of everyday life that have the power to paralyze us.

So what are we to do? How do we overcome our fear?

3 Steps to Overcoming Fear:

I think there are 3 things we can do; and believe me, I’m taking my own advice here.

Continue reading Do What Scares You – Here’s How

3 Ways to Positively Contribute at Work

Intentionally Giving Back to Others

Many of you know I work for a Fortune 50 company at its Corporate Headquarters. This week, my manager and I sat down for my performance review. During the meeting, he gave me a really nice compliment. He said:

“Some people are energy neutral. 

Some take more than they give. 

Some give more than they take. 

I’d put you in this last category.” 

Nice, right?! This got me thinking about how I try to give back at work and how I positively contribute to others.

Three categories came to mind of how I do this and how I’ve seen others do it as well. What’s more, they’re easy so you can do them, too!

1)    If a problem, bring a solution

Early in my career, I had a superior tell me he appreciated the fact that when I identified a problem and wasn’t able to work through it on my own, that I would always come to him with a few potential solutions — rather than just the problem. This stuck with me as a valued practice I’ve continued to do.

So my mantra and advice is: When needing to take a problem to a superior, be ready to offer one or more possible solutions.

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Ask for What You Want

Take the Risk and Make it Yours

I had a basketball coach in grade school who frequently said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” There are similar sayings, such as “You can’t score if you don’t shoot,” and “You can’t hit the ball if you don’t swing.” What all three of these sayings mean is: You can’t succeed unless you try. And trying starts with action.

That mentality stuck with me, and as a result, I now wholeheartedly believe in the philosophy that says: “Ask for what you want; the worst they can say is ‘No.’” If success starts with action, then you can act by intentionally asking for what you want.

This philosophy has proven true over and over again in my life. Let me give you two examples.

Example #1: Asking to change to part-time status at work

When I became pregnant with our first child in 2009, my husband and I talked a lot about our options for childcare — carefully considering our finances and professional goals — and asked ourselves (as most soon-to-be parents do) should we both remain full time? Should one of us quit our jobs to stay home? Is there a possibility of working part time?
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Intentional Thank You’s at Work

When we were little, we were taught to say “please” and “thank you.” It’s common courtesy. As adults, it’s easy to say those words a hundred times throughout our day with little to no thought behind them. But, when someone takes the time to sit down and write out a sincere thank you, that really means something.

Throughout my career, I’ve been blessed with wonderful managers and mentors who truly left their mark on me. They were caring, had my best interests at heart, and were excellent role models. I learned more by watching and observing their leadership styles than I could have learned in any classroom setting or by completing online training courses.

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Creating the Life You Want – On Purpose