Monthly Archives: January 2019

Christian Faith, Counseling, Marriage and Relationships

7 Powerful Words

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And 2 Suggestions

“I will with the help of God.” Strung together, those 7 words are powerful.

The phrase reminds me of the Bible verse in Philippians 4:13 that says, “I can do all things who Christ who strengthens me.” Both are so full of hope. They provide courage to move forward when the future is uncertain. When the next steps seem daunting and too overwhelming to face alone.

Why I love those words

I have a personal love for this particular 7-word phrase because it was part of our wedding vows. Tom and I celebrated our 12th anniversary of marriage this month, causing me to reflect on the many wonderful memories I have of our beautiful winter wedding in Michigan.

We had the traditional vows that included “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health….” But rather than saying “I do,” we were asked to say “I will with the help of God.”

The phrase was so fitting for us. It was (and is) foundational to our relationship. We recognized then (and still do) that we’d need God’s help to fully love, honor and cherish one another all the days of our lives.

During our pre-marital counseling at our church, we learned to put Christ at the center of our relationship. An image of a triangle depicted that the closer we grew to Christ, the closer we’d grow to one another, and that’s absolutely proven true.

Growing closer to God helps you and your spouse grow closer to one another.

Those 7 words are a powerful reminder to me that God is a constant help whenever I need Him, and He makes things possible.

Marriage isn’t easy

Marriage isn’t easy, and it’s increasingly difficult when we rely solely on our own strength; when we have only a human perspective. Twelve years have confirmed that Tom and I are not perfect. We’ve had enough life experience together to have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of one another. We’ve said things we wish we could take back, and we’ve not always been as loving, honoring and cherishing as we had hoped. We’ve had selfish days, and ups and downs as all marriages do, but we aren’t ready or willing to walk away when difficult situations arise.  Continue reading 7 Powerful Words →

Personal Goals, Work Life and Career

3 Ways to Positively Contribute at Work

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Intentionally Giving Back to Others

Many of you know I work for a Fortune 50 company at its Corporate Headquarters. This week, my manager and I sat down for my performance review. During the meeting, he gave me a really nice compliment. He said:

“Some people are energy neutral. 

Some take more than they give. 

Some give more than they take. 

I’d put you in this last category.” 

Nice, right?! This got me thinking about how I try to give back at work and how I positively contribute to others.

Three categories came to mind of how I do this and how I’ve seen others do it as well. What’s more, they’re easy so you can do them, too!

1)    If a problem, bring a solution

Early in my career, I had a superior tell me he appreciated the fact that when I identified a problem and wasn’t able to work through it on my own, that I would always come to him with a few potential solutions — rather than just the problem. This stuck with me as a valued practice I’ve continued to do.

So my mantra and advice is: When needing to take a problem to a superior, be ready to offer one or more possible solutions.

Continue reading 3 Ways to Positively Contribute at Work →

Counseling, Marriage and Relationships, Personal Goals

4 Tips to Excellent Communication in Marriage

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Though I’m not a marriage expert, I’m in a great marriage and learning along the way. (This month, Tom and I will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary!) One might consider me an expert in communications since I do have a degree in it and have spent the

Picture of our hands over our bouquet of flowers on our wedding day.
Our hands and rings over our bouquet of flowers on our wedding day. Photo Credit: Holly Frey Photography

majority of my professional career working in that particular field; however, I admit to still having much to learn. Putting these 2 things together – marriage and communication – I want to offer you 4 tips to excellent communication in marriage (or other relationships).

But first, a quick story

The other day, Tom received some disheartening news. He shared it with me when I got home from work. It was disheartening for me to hear as well.  We both experienced a myriad of emotions upon learning the news and both needed to process it and work through it.

The ‘what’ doesn’t matter here, but it’s important to note that the news wasn’t the kind that would cause a fight or argument; it was simply the kind that required common understanding and decisions about next steps.

We sat through a quiet dinner in which our daughters carried the conversation between themselves while we continued our own internal processing.

After dinner, we were ready to talk. We sat down and began working through what we were thinking and feeling. That lasted 2 full hours. Through it, we came to a place of contentment and peace, and in the end, we both felt better.

Upon reflection, I was able to see what we did well in those 2 hours that led to a positive resolution of our feelings, though the news hadn’t changed.

Here’s what we did and what you can do, too, in your own relationships: Continue reading 4 Tips to Excellent Communication in Marriage →