Monthly Archives: February 2019

Motivation, Parenting and Motherhood, Personal Goals

To wait or to seize — that is the question

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I recently found myself in a conundrum. As you know, I have a strong desire to live intentionally, to chase my dreams, and be in control of my own fate (to the extent possible). However, I find this desire in contrast with giving up control, surrendering, and allowing life to unfold.

On one hand, I’m 100% bought into the idea that by living intentionally, we can make things happen for ourselves. Positive things, that otherwise wouldn’t happen. And, since I’m a planner at heart, it’s easy for me.

On the other hand, I recognize that I’m not in control of all things. In fact, trying to control everything can damage relationships, and turn one into an authoritative dictator no one wants to be around. 

So, what are we to do? Is the answer to just watch and see? Should we sit on our hands and just hope for good things? I don’t think so.

The trick is to know when to make things happen and when to allow life to unfold. 

From Stafford’s book Only Love Today

Wait or Seize?

I recently read Rachel Macy Stafford’s book Only Love Today, and it was there that I found the answer. She said it perfectly with these words: “Learn when to wait a moment and when to seize a moment.” I love that! 

It reminds me of the Bible verses found in Ecclesiastes 3: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity…” We have to determine what the situation calls for and discern if we should wait or seize.

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Christian Faith, Counseling, Parenting and Motherhood

One Truth I Wish I Learned Sooner

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Have you ever considered what you’d say if you had the ability to write a letter to your younger self? It’s an ‘If I’d known then what I know now’ concept that’s interesting to ponder.

It crossed my mind today while driving in my car. On the radio, I heard the song: Dear Younger Me by MercyMe. In it, the singer imagines writing a letter to himself when he was younger. He dreams of giving himself an advantage in life by teaching valuable lessons without having to experience any of the pain he went through. He envisions sharing wisdom to help him avoid mistakes and keep him from making the wrong choices.

It made me pause to consider what I would tell my younger self if given the opportunity. Surprisingly, in just a few short minutes, the answer was crystal clear to me. It centered around the idea of perfection.

The lie I believed & the truth I found

I could have saved myself a lot of pain if I had recognized much earlier in life that no one is perfect, and therefore, I don’t have to be perfect either.

You see, I grew up believing a lie. The lie was:

My value and self-worth = My performance + The opinion of others

When in reality, the truth is:

My value and self-worth comes from God. He knows I’m not perfect and loves me anyway. He made us all human and none of us are perfect.

Oh, the pain I could have saved myself if I had recognized this sooner. Oh, the freedom that would have come with not caring so much what others thought of me. If only I’d had the ability to try things without the fear of failing or even the fear of simply not doing as well as others.

I was in my mid-30s before I truly understood God’s love for me in this way and grasped that my value comes from Him alone.

When I was seeing a counselor in 2017, I worked through a book called Conquering

My workbook while going through counseling

Codependency – A Christ-Centered 12-Step Process by Pat Springle. It was this book that helped me realize the lie I was believing about performance-based value. It taught me to replace the lie with the truth of God’s love for me.

If only, but what’s done is done.

As I drove on, I snapped out of my reflective daydream. “If only…” I thought. “But I can’t change the past and write a letter to myself. What’s done is done.”

Then another truth hit me.

I don’t have the power to change the past, but I do have the power to influence the future.

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