And 2 Suggestions
“I will with the help of God.” Strung together, those 7 words are powerful.
The phrase reminds me of the Bible verse in Philippians 4:13 that says, “I can do all things who Christ who strengthens me.” Both are so full of hope. They provide courage to move forward when the future is uncertain. When the next steps seem daunting and too overwhelming to face alone.
Why I love those words
I have a personal love for this particular 7-word phrase because it was part of our wedding vows. Tom and I celebrated our 12th anniversary of marriage this month, causing me to reflect on the many wonderful memories I have of our beautiful winter wedding in Michigan.
We had the traditional vows that included “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health….” But rather than saying “I do,” we were asked to say “I will with the help of God.”
The phrase was so fitting for us. It was (and is) foundational to our relationship. We recognized then (and still do) that we’d need God’s help to fully love, honor and cherish one another all the days of our lives.
During our pre-marital counseling at our church, we learned to put Christ at the center of our relationship. An image of a triangle depicted that the closer we grew to Christ, the closer we’d grow to one another, and that’s absolutely proven true.
Those 7 words are a powerful reminder to me that God is a constant help whenever I need Him, and He makes things possible.
Marriage isn’t easy
Marriage isn’t easy, and it’s increasingly difficult when we rely solely on our own strength; when we have only a human perspective. Twelve years have confirmed that Tom and I are not perfect. We’ve had enough life experience together to have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of one another. We’ve said things we wish we could take back, and we’ve not always been as loving, honoring and cherishing as we had hoped. We’ve had selfish days, and ups and downs as all marriages do, but we aren’t ready or willing to walk away when difficult situations arise.
We approach our marriage as a united team. We truly are best friends who enjoy spending our time together. But above all else, we remember God is an ever-present help to us, so we pray with, and for, one another continually. We ask God for His perspective, His guidance, His wisdom.
I do believe the difference that makes our marriage strong is having Christ at the center. Recognizing how God loves your spouse can truly help you love your spouse. Recognizing how God forgives and loves us even when we are unlovable can help us forgive and love our spouses. God is our role model.
Remembering “I will with the help of God” can set the tone for so many situations.
- “I will be loving with the help of God.”
- “I will forgive with the help of God.”
- “I will show kindness or respect with the help of God.”
- “I will remain faithful with the help of God.”
- “I will be present with the help of God.”
He makes things possible.
Now, if you’re not in a situation where this seems do-able, I would suggest one of two things.
1) Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior
Maybe you’ve never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. If not, you can do it now. If you don’t have a relationship with Him currently, but you want one, you can pray a very simple prayer acknowledging Him as the one you need in your life.
Simply ask Him into your heart and your life. Acknowledge you no longer want to do life your way and on your terms, but His way on His terms because He is the way, the truth and the light. He can forgive your sins and give you a new life in Him.
Doing this simple act of accepting who He is and wanting to do life His way, can change your life and your marriage. All your relationships for that matter, for the better.
2) Seek counseling
If you’re already a believer in Jesus Christ, but you still aren’t in a good place in your marriage, let me suggest counseling. Either for yourself or you and your spouse, jointly.
I’ve already shared that I sought counseling for myself in 2017 when several relationships in my life didn’t seem to be working. I needed to work on myself in order to improve my relationships. Since that time of internal searching and reflection, they have improved! My life is better for the time I spent with a counselor every few weeks.
I personally know of several marriages that have been repaired through counseling. Consider intentionally taking action to research local counselors, Christian counselors, or Psychologists. Check to see if your insurance covers any of the visits. Check to see if they have any evening appointments if you work during the weekdays. It is possible to find someone–an objective outside party–who can help you change your life and possibly save your marriage.
Once you’ve done these things, you’ll be well positioned to say, “I will with the help of God,” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” whenever life seems daunting or overwhelming.
I encourage you to give it a try.
Yours intentionally, Amanda