The right mindset equals success

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Working parents of school-aged children: this post is for you.

Stress levels elevated? Sleepless nights? Worried about how you’ll survive this pandemic with all the pressures of work, remote learning, and regular home-life responsibilities? Check, check, and check! Then you might be — like me — a working parent of school-aged children.

This pandemic has not been easy on any of us, and it’s about to grow even more complex.

In the next few weeks, children across the country will be returning to school, but not the way they’ve typically done, and for some, not physically. Many will engage in remote learning – either 100% or greater than 50% if using a blended approach of both remote and in-person learning. While not ideal, and certainly not something any of us wished for, there is something we can do as parents that will set our kids up for success. We can have the right mindset.

While everyone’s situation is unique and different, for our household, it looks like this:

  • My husband is an essential employee who works outside the home
  • I’m working from home full time, and
  • I’m faced with creating a homeschooling environment to support remote learning for my school-aged children (like many of you).

It’s daunting. I’ve spent countless hours playing out different scenarios in my mind trying to figure out how we’ll make it all work. Inevitably, my blood pressure and stress levels would rise or my sleep would suffer before I chose to think about something else.

Then I realized I wasn’t looking at this situation correctly. I needed to shift my mindset.

Rather than fret about how we will survive this situation, I’m now pondering how we can make the most of it. Instead of being fearful or anxious about how unmanageable it will feel at times, I’m choosing to welcome the changes, view them with gratitude, and approach the situation as a challenge – a challenge to create some new habits, create routines we love, and thrive during this season.

I’m asking myself things like:

  • What do I need to do to take care of myself and ensure my productivity and influence at work remain strong?
  • What do the kids need from me during the day in support of their best work and personal growth?
  • In which areas can I let go and ask for help from others?

Since this school year will no doubt be an unforgettable one, how can we ensure it’s filled with good memories?

I’ve come up with a few ideas to help our household be successful. Maybe they’ll spark ideas and options for you as well.

Create the right environment

  • Set up a dedicated space in your home for remote learning to occur.
  • Ensure it has good lighting, minimal distractions, and enables focused work time.
  • Make it an inviting space the kids want to be in.
  • Allow them to add their own décor and organize their school supplies as they please.

I added two more desks to our home office where I’ve been working since March. I wanted both of my girls to have a dedicated workspace during the school day.

Setting them up in the office where I’m working allows me to be close enough to assist them when needed, but to continue with my work when they can function independently.

Both have school-issued Chromebooks with headphones, and I have my laptop, monitor, and headset so we anticipate being able to work in the same room pretty successfully.

The girls were very excited about having their own desks in the office. They both organized and personalized their own workspaces.

We also converted a decorative bookcase into cubbies for school supplies and materials. This allows the girls to grab what they need quickly and easily when they need it, and it enables them to clean up after themselves, putting items in their dedicated places when it’s time to change subjects or finish for the day.

Our room has a little more of an office vibe rather than a classroom vibe — likely because I’m a corporate professional and not a school teacher.

Nonetheless, it’s an environment conducive to working and learning, and I’m relieved to find that they love the space and have been playing ‘office’ since we set it up.

Emphasize routine and structure

  • Get plenty of sleep — regular bedtimes and morning routines will be critical.
  • Follow the school-provided daily schedule as closely as possible.
  • Put systems in place to help you stay on track.

I’m implementing several tactics.

First, I’m setting multiple alarms on my phone to chime when it’s time for a scheduled class or virtual meeting. That way we won’t accidentally forget to join (as happened on occasion with the scheduled all-class Zoom meetings in the Spring semester).

Second, I purchased a whiteboard from Amazon (AmazonBasics Magnetic Framed Dry Erase White Board, 24 x 36 Inch) that sits on an easel in our office. This will house visual cues and reminders about must-do items throughout the day. I’m planning to make note of anything critical we can’t forget that day or that week so it stays in front of us, top of mind, and doesn’t get lost or forgotten about.

Third, I’m going to try to match my schedule to theirs as much as I can. I’m blessed to work for a company that is both caring and flexible. Since my girls both have a break for lunch around noon, I’ll take my lunch break then and avoid scheduling meetings (as much as possible) during that time. We’ll eat, we’ll connect, and we’ll enjoy the break.

Prep whatever you can ahead of time

  • Make life as easy as possible on yourself
  • Lay everyone’s clothes out the night before
  • Plan your week-night dinners in advance and grocery shop on the weekends
  • Meal prep on Sundays for several of your week-night dinners

Many of these you’ve heard before – I know I have – but never before have I felt the need to implement them as much as I do now. Whatever you can do beforehand will help prevent in-the-moment stress and decision fatigue. That little bit of help to maintain your sanity will be worth it.

Put off what can be delayed and/or completed with others’ help

  • Laundry, dishes, housework: not a priority during the daytime. Evenings and weekends, yes. With the kids’ and spouse’s help, yes! Though you’re working at home, those tasks have to wait.
  • Ask for increased involvement from others.
  • Say “No” to non-necessary commitments and activities
  • If you’re blessed to have family or grandparents nearby, ask for their assistance.
  • If you can afford a college student or nanny to help during the daytime hours, hire one.

In our house, I’ve asked my husband to increase his involvement. He’s taking over the meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and dishes. He is willing (thank goodness!). With his help, I can continue working in the afternoon and evening once school is finished, and dinner won’t be delayed (which means no one will become hangry and that’s a win for everyone)!

With so much being added to my plate, I’m also limiting additional activities and outside engagements, when I can. It’s helpful to prioritize what is most important and what can wait until life isn’t as busy on a daily basis. Taking a break from other commitments can help reduce the sense of overwhelm I feel and allow me to rest and replenish my energy in the evenings and on weekends. 

Take care of yourself

  • Exercise and/or get outside to walk
  • Eat healthy foods
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect

Self-care is critical!

I’m personally committing to getting up early, reading my email and working as I drink my coffee, and then exercising before my kids wake up. This will be my dedicated ‘me-time’ and quiet time. I’m also committing to drink more water, get outside when I can to partake in Physical Education (P.E.) with my kids, and eat healthier.

My kids need me to be at my very best, and I know diet, exercise, positive stress relief, and sleep all play a significant part in my well-being and mental health. I must take care of myself if I’m going to be any good to them.

And when I don’t do these things perfectly, I won’t beat myself up. I’m not perfect, so misses and slipups will occur, and that’s okay. Tomorrow is another day.

Approach this season with the right mindset

Whatever your situation this fall, approach it with the right mindset. A “can do” attitude and your own excitement, enthusiasm, and willingness to try new things and adjust as you go will set the right tone and equal success for your family.

Talk about teaching our kids! There are so many amazing lessons they will learn from us as we role model approaching this school year with flexibility, open-mindedness, and resilience.

These tips and practices I’m implementing can help you brainstorm how to intentionally create the life you want, shaping and molding this school year and season of life into a time of thriving rather than surviving. And truly it starts with your mindset.

You have the power to turn your pandemic experience into an opportunity for change, a chance for new beginnings, fresh starts, new routines, helpful systems, and a period of personal growth for both you and your children. It’s all in how you look at it. Your mindset about this situation and this school year will make all the difference.

Your turn

How are you preparing for the upcoming school year? What systems are you putting in place to ensure your success? What has your mindset been to date? Do you need to shift to viewing the situation as an opportunity? Leave me a comment or email me; I’d love to hear from you.

Yours intentionally, Amanda

 

 

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