Take the Risk and Make it Yours

I had a basketball coach in grade school who frequently said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” There are similar sayings, such as “You can’t score if you don’t shoot,” and “You can’t hit the ball if you don’t swing.” What all three of these sayings mean is: You can’t succeed unless you try. And trying starts with action.

That mentality stuck with me, and as a result, I now wholeheartedly believe in the philosophy that says: “Ask for what you want; the worst they can say is ‘No.’” If success starts with action, then you can act by intentionally asking for what you want.

This philosophy has proven true over and over again in my life. Let me give you two examples.

Example #1: Asking to change to part-time status at work

When I became pregnant with our first child in 2009, my husband and I talked a lot about our options for childcare — carefully considering our finances and professional goals — and asked ourselves (as most soon-to-be parents do) should we both remain full time? Should one of us quit our jobs to stay home? Is there a possibility of working part time?

We had moved to IL from MI in May, 2007 – just two years earlier – so I could launch my career in a corporate setting. Knowing that, it didn’t make sense for me to bow out of the working world completely. Tom was the one pulling down a larger income though, and he’d just landed a really good job at the local university, so it didn’t make sense for him either.

When we started thinking about the possibility for me to change to part-time status in my current role, that sounded appealing. Part-time employees could still be eligible for benefits, including the healthcare programs, paid time off, and the retirement plans. The pay would be less, of course, but when you factored in not having to spend as much on daycare and the gains in flexibility, free time, sanity, sleep, and work/life balance, the positives far outweighed the negatives.

With that decidedly being our best option, we just needed my employer to agree to it. I thought it was a real possibility because there were a few other women in my department who had been, or still were, part time, meaning it was an arrangement the company was open to (albeit in limited amount for my type of position). Nonetheless, if others had been given permission, I thought: “All I can do is ask. The worst they can say is ‘No.’” If we were to find out if this was possible, we (or I) had to take the deliberate action of broaching the topic and asking my boss.

So, the day came when I was ready to announce my pregnancy at work. I went into my boss’s office with sonogram pictures in hand, told her I had some personal news to share, and handed over the images of our tiny little lima bean. After the congratulatory conversation and the typical soon-to-be mom questions and answers, I confidently said, “Tom and I were wondering if it would be possible for me to change from full time to part time once the baby comes. I know several others in the department who were or are part time, so I wondered if that could be an option for me as well?”

My boss was not expecting this question, I could tell. But like any good manager who doesn’t know the answer on the spot, she told me she would look into it and get back to me. Somewhat speaking her thoughts out loud, she did say I was a strong performer, doing quality work and producing results, and that if it were to be approved, it would likely require a business case. I was satisfied with that answer for the time being, and was grateful that she was willing to look into it further for me.

Turns out, this woman went above and beyond. She wrote a compelling business case on my behalf, met with her leadership chain, and when she found that I couldn’t become part time and remain in my current role, she met with several other leaders in the department to ask if they had a need for someone part time in their divisions with my skillset and a proven track record of strong performance. That worked!

She informed me I’d be moving to a new division upon returning from maternity leave, and that my employment status would change to part time. I’d only be required to work three days per week. They even allowed me to choose which days! (I chose Tues. – Thurs., that way I’d always have a four-day weekend, would be in the office for the majority of our standing meetings, and would never have a case of the Mondays!)

But that’s not even the best part – after learning of this, the director from the division I’d be moving to approached me and said he was excited to have me move to his area. In addition, he knew I was a strong performer, and he was prepared to give me a promotion at the same time! What a blessing! That helped with the decrease in pay due to the part-time status change!

Fast forward and I can tell you I remained in a part-time status until just this year: June, 2018. I was able to enjoy being part time for eight years, and in that time had a second child, too. All this, simply because I was willing to ask the question.

Example #2: Asking permission to use an expired hotel stay

Earlier this year, Tom and I participated in a silent auction as a fundraiser for our daughters’ elementary school. We bid on several items, but ended up winning an overnight stay at a local hotel, complete with a bottle of wine and a gift certificate for flowers from another local vendor. We anticipated leaving our two girls with grandma for the night, enjoying a wonderful dinner out somewhere, and then retiring to the hotel for a special evening alone.

The auction was in February of this year; typically, certificates like that are good for one year, so we believed we had until February of 2019 to use it. Wrong! I happened to open the envelope housing the certificate in October, late October, only to discover it had expired on October 3^rd! Turns out it was purchased on October 3, 2017, and did in fact expire in one year’s time.

What a heartbreaker. We had been looking forward to this, were just about ready to use it, and had just missed the expiration date. There was also the fact that we had spent more than $100 in the silent auction to win this special evening. I kept telling myself the money had gone to a good cause; we could simply consider it charitable giving and move on. Still, I was devastated when I told Tom the certificate was no good any longer.

Tom said, “Give it to me. I’ll go talk to the hotel manager and see if they’ll still honor it.” I handed it over, but told him the letter explicitly said “…use before the expiration date below. *NO EXCEPTIONS*” Just like that, bold and in all caps with asterisks on each side: “*NO EXCEPTIONS*” Still, Tom wasn’t deterred, and I thought to myself, “Yes, that’s what it says, but what’s the harm in asking the question? The worst they can say is ‘No.’”

Two days later, after Tom went to the hotel, asked for the manager and found the manager was not there, he emailed her. He explained exactly what had happened and asked if she would be willing to extend the certificate three more months, allowing us to use it yet this year, before January, 2019. The manager wrote a simple email in return saying, “I am happy to give a three-month extension. Not a problem. Thank you.”

And just like that, through simple, yet deliberate action steps, we had success and our hotel stay was back on!

The lesson in these examples is: “Ask for what you want, because the worst they can say is ‘No.’”

You can’t succeed unless you try. And trying starts with action.

What are your thoughts? Has this philosophy of asking for what you want ever served you well? Has taking intentional action brought you positive results? I’d love to hear.

Yours intentionally, Amanda