Everyone Who Asks Receives

Have you ever had one of those moments when you didn’t know which way was up, or where to turn, and out of desperation for help you literally cried out to God?

I’ve had two of those in my life. The first one, I’ll tell you about now. It was a turning point for me.

I was 23 years old and in a relationship with a great guy. Only three months into dating, I was in love. I remember telling my sister and a close friend that he was “the one.” I loved him, and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him.

By five months, he told me he loved me, and I said it back to him for the first time. This was the real deal and was becoming serious.

Then, at the eight-month mark, after spending the day together shopping and running errands, we got back to my apartment, parked the car, and he turned to me and said, “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

I was stunned. I was absolutely blindsided and shocked by this. I had NOT seen this coming. When I muttered, “What?” He said it again, “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” And with that, he got out of my car, went to his truck, and drove away.

I tried to stop him; I ran after him saying, “Wait! Let’s talk about this!” But he was gone. I stood in the parking lot dumbfounded, shocked, heartbroken and alone.

Over the next few days, I called him several times, but he wouldn’t answer. I left a pathetic-sounding voicemail message saying, “Please call me. I want to understand what this is about.” I even drove out to his house 30 miles outside the city where I was living at the time, but he wasn’t home. I wasn’t getting anywhere.

It was about the third night of crying myself to sleep that I remember lying in bed – face red and tear soaked – and out of total desperation I cried out to God. I verbally cried, “God, why did he leave? What did I do? Please help me see. Help me understand!”

The next evening, the young man called. He was ready to talk and explain why he ended our relationship. I listened as he described me as selfish, bossy and controlling. I heard him say sometimes I wasn’t even kind and I showed no awareness of how my actions or words could be hurtful to others – including him. He said he couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with someone who treated him poorly and thought only about herself.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I took in what he was saying. I didn’t argue, because he wasn’t wrong. I didn’t become defensive, because I had no leg to stand on. No one had ever said those things to me before, but I knew they were true once confronted with them.

I also recognized it wasn’t just this young man sharing with me that night. God was speaking to me – right to my heart, my soul, my core – through the young man. I knew God was answering my prayer for understanding. He was giving me sight where I had previously been blind, so I listened and I heard.

This event in 2005 started my journey of self-discovery and self-awareness. I wish I could say I turned over a new leaf and was a new person the next day, but it didn’t work that way. It took a lot of hard work and effort on my part. And, unfortunately, some of the bad habits I managed to change in my dating days showed up again once I became a mom (thus the need for more counseling in 2016 and 2017).

The moral of this story is revealed in Matthew 7, verses 7-8:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

God is willing to help anyone find wisdom and understanding. All we need to do is ask. When we cry out with humble hearts and seek understanding, God provides.

There’s more to this story. There’s the fact that my parents drove from Illinois to Michigan to be with me, their brokenhearted  daughter, the weekend immediately following the breakup.

And there’s the fact that the young man came over to my apartment to retrieve a few items he had left, and I had the chance to talk with him more in person. It was then that I begged him not to end our relationship, but to give me another chance as I worked on improving myself and changing. That might sound like empty promises just to save the relationship, but they weren’t at all. I promised to seek counseling and attend a weekly group meeting at our church to work on the things inside me that needed changing, and I did.

Long story short, the young man took me back, and was with me every step of the journey as I worked on becoming less selfish, less controlling, and less codependent. One year later, he proposed to me, and six months after that, we were married. Tom and I have been married almost 12 years. I’m forever grateful for our short breakup for what it taught me and for how it caused me to lean on God.

Have you ever had an experience where you cried out to God? I’d love to hear how God provided in your life when you intentionally sought Him out or deliberately sought His wisdom and guidance.

Yours intentionally, Amanda