Resolving to use a confidence-building, guidance-giving system with my kids in the new year
The new year is almost upon us, and many of us are trying to finalize our New Year’s resolutions. For me, I’m resolving to be more intentional in building confidence in my two daughters. I’ll do this through a new system I came up with called “Mom says…”
Before I share the details of the system — and how you can get in on it too — let me tell you why I’m doing it.
Why I’m Doing What I’m Doing
I recently asked my 8-year-old to get ready for bed. Before she came upstairs, I went into her room to put away laundry and found she had a dry erase board propped on her dresser in front of her mirror. Wondering if she’d notice, I quickly scribed: “Mom loves you, and you’re beautiful!” Underneath it, I put a heart with a smiley face inside it.
Then I left her room and went into my own to get ready for bed. I heard her come upstairs, and just a few moments later, she came into my room with a huge smile on her face and bright eyes. She said, “Thanks, Mom. I saw what you did.” And she wrapped her arms around my waist giving me a great big hug.
I couldn’t believe how much that one simple act had meant to her. Especially from my daughter who rarely shows affection, cuddles or hugs. It must have really been something she was needing to hear!
Inspired by a TED Talk
This experience immediately made me think back to a TED Talk I heard earlier this year called Promoting Confidence in Teen Girls. It was given by Cheryl Mason, a mom from my local community, who decided one day to write an encouraging note on her teen daughter’s bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker.
Knowing the pressures of once being a young girl and just how many negative messages bombard them, Cheryl chose to write her daughter’s favorite quote as a bit of encouragement to her: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Her daughter didn’t respond in any way — not a word. But, she also didn’t erase it.
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