Category Archives: Mindfulness

Health and Fitness, Mindfulness, Motivation

Begin to Savor

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When you hear something new, you may think: “That’s interesting.” But when you hear the same thing multiple times from different sources, you might think: “I need to take note of this.” That’s what happened to me with the idea of savoring. 

I heard it first from author and speaker, Mel Robbins, while watching several of her short YouTube segments. I also heard about it from the healthy habits program that’s helping me lose weight and maintain a healthy mindset. And then I heard about it again during a webinar I attended at work. My conclusion: “There must be something to this, and I ought to try it.” 

What is savoring?

Savoring is a type of mindfulness that allows you to use all your senses – taste, smell, touch, sight, and sound. It’s about slowing down and noticing – becoming aware of what’s happening around you and appreciating the goodness. The appreciation is what counts.  Savoring allows us to fully enjoy our experiences and prevents us from letting them pass by unappreciated.

According to positivepsycholpedia.com, it’s defined as “the capacity to attend to, appreciate, and enhance the positive experiences in your life.” When we savor, we’re having positive feelings and we’re aware of them.

Examples

Mel Robbins described many items she has in her dining room that bring her joy and that she appreciates. For example, she mentioned her crystal chandelier over the table that, for a brief time every afternoon when the sun shines through the crystals, sprays rainbow prisms all over the walls. To her, it’s a beautiful sight. 

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Christian Faith, Mindfulness, Motivation, Parenting and Motherhood, Personal Goals

Shifting Focus

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Has this ever happened to you: You set out determined to do one thing and pretty soon you realize God had something else in mind for you? It recently happened to me, and it’s been an eye-opening experience.

It’s no secret that I try to live intentionally, so at the beginning of 2020, I set a one-word intention for the year. This is becoming quite a popular thing to do; many are choosing to set intentions rather than resolutions since resolutions have a bad rap for not lasting more than a few days.

What word did I choose for 2020? The word FOCUS.

Here’s why. I had set pretty big goals for myself in 2019 and worked hard to achieve them. Having made some awesome progress, I decided to buckle down and set out to achieve even more. My thought was simply that I needed additional focus. I thought if I could just zoom in and get really clear about my goals, I’d make forward progress. I would use the word FOCUS to remind myself to stay the course, avoid distraction, and not be derailed.

My one-word intention for 2020.

I also created a vision board for 2020 and have it displayed in my bathroom where I can see it every morning and night. As I’ve been focusing on its six categories and the images intended to inspire me to achieve those goals, I remind myself to work towards them and put in the effort to make them a reality.

But here’s the funny thing… it’s now mid-February, and I believe the word FOCUS is being laid on my heart in a very new and different way. It’s as if God is revealing to me what 2020 is really going to be about despite what I had in mind.

I believe God is shifting my focus.

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Christian Faith, Mindfulness, Motivation, Personal Goals, Work Life and Career

Form the Habit of Reflection

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Taking time for reflection is a key to learning. In business, Lessons Learned Meetings are held – or in an Agile business environment they’re called Retrospective Meetings – in which a team reflects on what went well, what could have been handled better/differently, and what was learned. In the military, After Action Reviews are used, in which there is reflection on what happened, why it happened, and what could have been handled better/differently. Regardless of the setting and the specific questions, the premise is the same: reflection leads to improvement, learning and growth.

But I don’t want to talk about business or the military, I want to talk about our personal lives. I started thinking, why can’t we adopt the same behaviors in our homes and family situations? And, of course, we can! It’s truly a habit we should form; a practice we should adopt.

Speaker, author and leadership coach John Maxwell is a huge proponent and advocate for this. In fact, he takes time for personal reflection every day! He reflects on how he intentionally added value to others on a daily basis. That’s something to aspire to; I’m not there yet.

I do, however, like the idea of creating a habit in which we periodically, purposefully slow down and reflect. According to John Maxwell, “Reflection is an intentional stoppage, a deliberate habit that must be cultivated.” I completely agree. If we just keep plowing forward without looking back, we will miss important lessons and growth opportunities.

“Reflection is an intentional stoppage, a deliberate habit that must be cultivated.” — John Maxwell

When should we reflect?

There are natural times when reflection is more top of mind; for example, at year end or when creating New Year’s Resolutions. But we can also make time following traumatic events, stressful periods, or times of transition and change in our lives.

I just came through a pretty trying 40-day period (late Sept. to end of Oct.), which is why I recently spent time reflecting. Now that I’m on the other side, I can look back and think about what went well, what I could have handled better or done differently, and what I learned. The transferrable lesson here is that YOU can do the same.

Let me share my experience so you can begin to contemplate how you might apply reflection to your situation.

My experience

In a recent 40-day period:

  • I was informed of organizational restructuring that affected my job.
  • I had a death in the family, losing an aunt I was close with, and
  • I was studying for a professional certification, which required much of my time and attention.

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Christian Faith, Counseling, Marriage and Relationships, Mindfulness, Motivation, Parenting and Motherhood

Asking for Help Can Be Life Changing

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In today’s society, we like to pretend we’ve got life all figured out. We put on a happy face to mask our problems. We appear on the outside as being “put together” though inside we have our struggles. We post images of ourselves and our families on social media that show us at our very best, presenting our good sides and leaving the bad and the ugly hidden from the world.

But the truth is, nobody has it all figured out. We’re all just doing the best we can with the same limited resources – time, money and energy. So what’s the answer? I think we all need to get better at simply asking for help.

Asking for help from others

This is not easy – especially for those who don’t want to appear needy or be seen as dependent on others. However, I’ve come to realize we’ve just got to get over that. A little help from a friend can make a tremendous difference. Let me give you an example from my own life.

My husband works 7am-3pm and leaves the house by 6:30 each morning. He’s worked this shift since before our two kids were born. I start work after 8am, so it’s been my responsibility to get the kids ready for school and drive them across town before I head to the office. The mornings have always been hectic and one of my least favorite parts of the day.

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Health and Fitness, Marriage and Relationships, Mindfulness, Motivation, Parenting and Motherhood, Personal Goals, Work Life and Career

Our Beliefs Influence Our Actions

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We’ve all seen the board sign that says, “She believed she could, so she did,” right?  It makes a nice wall hanging and adds to our décor, but have you ever really thought about that phrase? It’s both accurate and motivating.

Believed she could Board Sign
‘Believed She Could’ Board Sign

I’m learning, through multiple sources, that our beliefs shape our thoughts and emotions, which ultimately determine our actions and behaviors. This makes what we tell ourselves and what we believe extremely important.

My conclusion, of course, is that we need to be intentional about telling ourselves we’ll be successful and believing that we will be. Or telling ourselves that we’re capable and truly believing that we are.

Our beliefs influence our actions

Belief alone is not enough; the other half of the equation is following through and taking necessary actions. However, since beliefs influence our actions, we must first get our thoughts and beliefs solidified.

Our beliefs shape our thoughts and emotions, which ultimately determine our actions and behaviors. This makes what we tell ourselves and what we believe extremely important.

Far too often, we let limiting beliefs about ourselves hold us back from actually achieving what we want in life. We might believe we aren’t good enough or not worthy. Or perhaps we think it’s going to be too hard or that we’ll never be able to change ourselves or our situations.

It’s the difference between having a Growth Mindset and a Fixed Mindset. Believing you are stuck or that your efforts can’t change your life or your current situation, equates to having a Fixed Mindset. But when we believe that our own efforts can make a difference, and that we can change/improve/grow, we have a Growth Mindset. It comes down to what we believe.

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Christian Faith, Mindfulness, Parenting and Motherhood

The 3 Best Times for Connection with Kids

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I grew up in a household where open conversation and dialogue was welcomed. It was how we established trust and a deep sense of unconditional love, acceptance and belonging. My parents welcomed questions and conversations about the hard stuff and the big stuff, but they showed a genuine interest in the little stuff of everyday life, too – and that’s where true connection happens with kids.

Times have changed, and we now live in a digital world in which it often feels like everyone in the household (no matter the age) is behind a screen and uninterested in engaging in conversation. Though it seems that way, that couldn’t be further from the truth. People are still interested in connecting; we just have to be more intentional about making it happen.

From my experience

I’ve found 3 times that are best for true connection with my kids. Times when no screens are present and open conversation and dialogue occur freely and naturally. I welcome these times because I, like my parents, want to let my kids know we have a relationship of trust, they are loved unconditionally, they are accepted, and they belong.

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Christian Faith, Counseling, Marriage and Relationships, Mindfulness, Parenting and Motherhood, Work Life and Career

Creating Space Can Save Relationships & Your Sanity

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With the end of the school year fast-approaching and daily routines  changing, you might think I’m talking about creating space in your schedule. The idea of becoming less busy so you have time to focus on the things that really matter; you know, creating “white space” or “margins” as some have coined it. While I think that’s good and valuable, that actually isn’t what this post is about. Rather, the “space” I’m talking about creating is more of a pause – and one that truly can save your relationships and your sanity.

I’ve been learning and reading about this space, or pause, from several sources lately. If you’re a loyal reader, you know I have a passion for sharing what I’ve learned with others in an effort to help them create the lives they want and live more intentionally. So, let me explain what I’ve been learning about “space” in terms of a pause that truly can improve your mental state and your relationships.

Emotional Intelligence – Intercepting thoughts & emotions

Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Emotional Intelligence 2.0

I recently read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. I also completed training and a self-assessment on the topic to determine my aptitude, or EQ (emotional quotient); similar to how we all have an IQ (intelligence quotient).

The book and the training were both fabulous and helpful. I highly recommend them. What stuck with me the most was how the Emotional Intelligence gurus explained a natural chain of events that occurs often for all of us. It looks like this:

Event/Trigger >> Thoughts/Emotions >> Reaction/Response

When an event or trigger occurs, you’ll experience thoughts and emotions, which will then cause a reaction or response from you. This chain of events sometimes leaves us feeling powerless and controlled by our thoughts and emotions.

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Mindfulness, Motivation, Personal Goals

3 Reasons a Vision Board is Better Than a Resolution

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Forget Resolutions – Try a Vision Board

I’m not against New Year’s Resolutions; I like the idea of them. They’re about reflecting on your life and intentionally thinking of areas where you can improve, do better, or be better. I love that! But, if you’ve never made a vision board, you may want to try it.

Why is a vision board better? I’ll give you three reasons, (and tell you what happened when I created one in preparation for 2018).

1)    Resolutions don’t always stick

We’ve all been there: resolving with grand plans to live differently, but as soon as we’ve “fallen off the wagon” or “blown it,” the resolution goes by the wayside. If it wasn’t sustainable, or it only lasted a few weeks – or even just a few days – into January, it wasn’t very helpful.

Before December, 2017, I had only created a vision board once. It was at a financial seminar about retirement planning. During the seminar, all the attendees, me included, created our own vision boards illustrating our ideal retirement. We were asked to think about how we’d spend our time, where we’d be, who would be with us, and how much money we’d need to achieve those goals or live that way.

I enjoyed the exercise. It forced all of us to think about what we really wanted, digging deep into our personal desires and dreams. It also forced us to articulate in words or pictures what those dreams looked like, which was helpful. We could then begin working towards them – through additional savings and investments, by making more money, or spending less. Further, we could discuss the articulated goals with our significant others or spouses. This helped to ensure we were on the same page and working towards the same vision for our future.

After doing it once and seeing the value in it, I decided to give it another try to articulate my goals as the new year (2018) approached. 

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Mindfulness, Motivation

Feeling Lighter

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The rewards of practicing “less is more.” 

We recently had several days of heavy rainfall, so my girls and I took the opportunity to clean out closets. We sorted through clothes we’d outgrown, clothes we’d worn out, and clothes we were ready to donate.

I absolutely hate this chore and dread doing it each year for the kids. But it’s an absolute must through these years when they are growing like weeds. It was also an absolute must for me who was quickly running out of closet space and fearing one day my wire racks would come tumbling down on top of me due to the sheer weight of all I was cramming in there. Thankfully, I tackled this chore before that happened. 

After working for several hours — one closet and dresser at a time — we ended the day feeling pretty darn good, in several ways: 

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