Has this ever happened to you: You set out determined to do one thing and pretty soon you realize God had something else in mind for you? It recently happened to me, and it’s been an eye-opening experience.
It’s no secret that I try to live intentionally, so at the beginning of 2020, I set a one-word intention for the year. This is becoming quite a popular thing to do; many are choosing to set intentions rather than resolutions since resolutions have a bad rap for not lasting more than a few days.
What word did I choose for 2020? The word FOCUS.
Here’s why. I had set pretty big goals for myself in 2019 and worked hard to achieve them. Having made some awesome progress, I decided to buckle down and set out to achieve even more. My thought was simply that I needed additional focus. I thought if I could just zoom in and get really clear about my goals, I’d make forward progress. I would use the word FOCUS to remind myself to stay the course, avoid distraction, and not be derailed.
I also created a vision board for 2020 and have it displayed in my bathroom where I can see it every morning and night. As I’ve been focusing on its six categories and the images intended to inspire me to achieve those goals, I remind myself to work towards them and put in the effort to make them a reality.
But here’s the funny thing… it’s now mid-February, and I believe the word FOCUS is being laid on my heart in a very new and different way. It’s as if God is revealing to me what 2020 is really going to be about despite what I had in mind.
I believe God is shifting my focus.
That is, I believe He’s saying, “Yes, FOCUS is your word this year, but you’ve got it all wrong.”
Lately, He’s been impressing upon me how I need to shift my focus or change my perspective. He’s, in more ways than one, telling me not to put blinders on and zoom in; rather He’s saying: “Take the blinders off and widen your view. Look up and center your focus on Me.”
I’ve noticed three areas in which God is asking me to shift my focus:
- From my plans to His
- From my kids to His
- From my thoughts to His
What a difference it’s making. Let me expound on each of these three areas.
From my plans to His
Despite what I want to achieve and when I want to achieve it, God’s showing me that it’s going to be His plans that are fulfilled and not mine. He’s also revealing that everything will be accomplished on His timetable and not mine.
It’s a fine line between living intentionally – believing I can affect change and influence outcomes to improve my life – vs. living according to God’s will – believing He has ultimate control over what happens. I have to remember that He is God, and I am not.
I don’t believe these two ways of living are mutually exclusive – that it has to be one or the other. I know I can live intentionally and also live according to God’s will. I just recognize that I sometimes have to check myself and acknowledge I’m ultimately not the one in control of everything, and I can’t affect the outcomes of all situations. I must continue to surrender to Him.
Sometimes when I make my plans and think I have it all figured out, I imagine God saying, “Oh, is that how it’s going to be? We’ll see about that.” And I’m reminded that my plans are always written in pencil, for He can easily change them. I must wait to have the true plans revealed to me.
“Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
Today, while sitting in church, the congregation was reminded of the Lord’s prayer, and how we can and should use the phrase: “Your will be done” in our conversations with the Lord.
Oftentimes, when we don’t know what to do or can’t begin to figure out how a situation can or should work out, we can simply pray “Your will be done,” as Jesus prayed to God before being sent to die on the cross. Those simple words can remind us to loosen our grip on our desires and help us shift our focus back to God and His plans, which are always higher and better.
From my kids to His
Recently in my bedtime prayers, God has been impressing upon me that I need to think of my children as His children. He has been asking me to view my daughters through His eyes. As I’ve started to do this, I’m beginning to see them differently. I see them as His perfect creations, as precious gifts He’s entrusted to my care and keeping for only a short while. This different perspective completely changes how I interact with them.
I imagine how He loves them and would treat them if He were in the room – gently, warmly, affectionately and unconditionally. I envision His wisdom, His ability to forgive, and His unending patience.
Picturing His love for them helps me change my focus. It enables me to once again, loosen my grip, and let go of my need to control their behavior or change them. It enables me to lose the frustration I feel in the moment and remain calm to handle the situation appropriately without escalating it. Nothing they do will affect His love for them; therefore, nothing they do should affect my love for them. When I see them this way, I can be more loving, kinder and gentler, full of praise and encouragement, more supportive, better able to build them up. It also helps me serve as a role model demonstrating how a mother and woman should behave.
Trust me, I don’t have this mastered. This is a recent change in focus the Lord has laid upon my heart, and something I’m working to employ when faced with power struggles, emotional drama, and all-out disobedience. I truly feel as though the Lord is giving me opportunities to learn and grow. That He’s giving me multiple chances to practice what I’m learning and master these age-old parent/child struggles.
I’m being reminded that God is with me in these challenging moments. He makes me strong and able to handle them. He wants me to lean on Him. He wants me to learn and make better choices that positively affect the outcome. It’s almost as though He’s preparing me for more (likely the teenage years – yikes!).
His will will be done. These are His children. I am His child. He loves us all, and He wants what’s best for us all.
From my thoughts to His
I’ve written before about my interest in mindfulness (i.e., guided meditation, positive affirmations, deep breathing for relaxation, body scans, etc.). I believe the mind is extremely powerful and grossly underused. If we harnessed its power, we’d be unstoppable. Goals and achievements could be reached much more easily and effortlessly.
As a result, I’ve been filling my mind with new ideas by regularly:
- Listening to Ted Talks on YouTube,
- Stifling my natural tendencies and immediate responses and considering instead, through momentary reflection, what I could do to make the situation better, or at a minimum, avoid making it worse, and
- Taking negative thoughts captive and replacing them with positive statements and beliefs to shift my mindset.
These are not easy things to do, and they’re things I’ve only been doing for the last 8 or 10 months. What’s new this year is the recent shift of FOCUS from God. Instead of me taking the credit for my ability to do these things, I’ve begun to see that it is the Lord who has been teaching me and giving me this newfound ability.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” — Isaiah 55:8-9
It may sound crazy, but when I occasionally have a win with my daughters following what could have become a major power struggle or what could have escalated to ridiculous proportions, I hear the Lord whisper, “Don’t look now, but you’re doing it!”
Natural tendencies
It’s in those moments when my natural tendency would be to raise my voice louder than my daughter just raised hers, and instead I remain calm. It’s in those moments when being tender and pulling my daughter in for a hug is the last thing I feel like doing, but I do it anyway and it dissolves the tension and anger. It’s in those moments in which I recognize that what we’re arguing about on the surface is not the true problem and there’s something underneath that bears discussion, empathy, and understanding.
I can’t take the credit when these moments occur. I know something much bigger than me is giving me the strength and patience and tenderness that flows out of me. I know it’s the Lord working through me, on me, and with me to make me a better parent and person.
Taking thoughts captive
Sometimes, we play words or phrases over and over in our minds that are so negative and detrimental to who we are or who we want to be. It’s not easy to take those captive and objectively examine them, but it is do-able. You can stop yourself and say, “Is that true? What evidence is there to make that true?” And, you can also take it a step further and counter the negative thought by saying: “That is NOT true. I’m actually ________.”
But some of us don’t have the words in our arsenal to replace negative self-talk with something more positive. When this is the case, you need to seek those words or phrases out. Where can you find them? I use positive affirmations and Bible verses.
Start repeating a few affirmations to yourself until you believe them and they replace the negative statements. Start posting Bible verses where you can see them and recite them so you have God’s truths about you in your mind and heart and can draw upon those when necessary.
Consider what you can accomplish or face when you arm yourself with thoughts such as these:
- “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid…for the Lord your God goes with you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
- “Do not fear, for I am with you; I will strengthen you and help you.” Isaiah 41:10
- “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
- “For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37
- “Walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
- “Rejoice in the Lord always.” Philippians 4:4
I’m telling you the mind is powerful, and our God is powerful. I’m trying to replace my thoughts with His thoughts this year, and I’m experiencing positive results already.
The takeaway:
I’m going to continue living intentionally and working to achieve my goals, but I’m paying close attention to what God is laying on my heart and how he’s asking me to shift my FOCUS in 2020. I’m no longer going to be so narrowly focused on my own desires.
Instead, I’m going to widen my perspective fully acknowledging God is in control. It’s only through shifting my focus to His plans, His kids, and His thoughts that I’ll be able to reach my full potential and live according to His will.
This is yet another example of how I thought I had it all figured out, and God says, “Think again.” He certainly does work in mysterious ways, and mysteriously, His ways are always better.
What about you?
What is God laying on your heart this year? What do you believe God is teaching you lately? I’d love to hear your story of God’s work in your life. Let’s encourage one another with the examples we have.
Yours intentionally, Amanda